The Dark Side Of Pornography

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Dark Side of Porngraphy

Sometimes I think if it was possible, our current ethics minister, would ask the Oxford University Press to delete the word pornography and ‘anything to do with porn’ from the Oxford English dictionary; may be then, the future generations would have no idea what porn is and would be ‘porn-free’. He doesn’t tolerate that ‘rubbish’ AT ALL. Am not sure if it’s because of his role as the ethics minister or his role as a leader in the church; but whichever case it is, he will always try his best to instill moral values in us (whether you like it or NOT).

Sadly, the truth is; lots of people truly enjoy watching porn, including many couples who use it together to have a new experience, yet it is seemingly undeniable that there are some real dark sides to porn. Besides the obvious violence and anything involving children, there are much more insidious issues..

1. Porn makes us believe that what we look like is everything

Porn focuses on being stimulated through the body. And so we are subconsciously told that sexuality depends on what your body looks like. It’s more like: ‘You must be young, fit, have perky breasts and a large penis, otherwise you can’t be a good lover.’

And ironically this sets up a huge self-worth issue in everyone, particularly those who don’t see themselves as young, fit and perky. And for the ones that do, they still quite often don’t see themselves as perky or big enough. Ultimately, no one leaves 100% happy with themselves.

2. With porn, it’s all & only about successfully pleasuring the other

Porn focuses on pleasing the other. Now, obviously there is some part of us deep down that knows that the desire to please our partner is actually a wonderful thing. But that isn’t usually how it comes across in porn. It comes across as the only thing that is important. That bringing the other person to orgasm is the only goal.

“And what’s wrong with that?” you ask.

Well, it is the message that our unconscious receives, that this is the only goal of lovemaking. That if you can’t bring your partner to orgasm, then there is no point making love. We end up with things like performance anxiety on both the giver and the receiver side, which is not a fun thing really.

4. With porn, connection & intimacy aren’t important

Porn has nothing to do with connection. It is simply a series of physical events that two people do together. There is no connection or intimacy. And this isn’t always bad, sometimes a round of rockin’ porn sex can be fun, but again it sends programming to our subconscious that this is what sex is about. The connection doesn’t matter and it’s just about getting off. But we all know that serious relationships need some connection and Intimacy.

5. Porn makes us believe that this is all there is

We start thinking that we know what sex is all about and that porn just plays the edge of it, which is what is so thrilling. But it isn’t true. The truth is that we as humans are using maybe 5% of our sexual abilities.

It’s like listening to only hip-hop music thinking that its the only genre of music there is. So we get so into hip-hop and get really good at dancing to hip-hop music only. But the truth is that there are various genres of music; mind-blowing music actually. But we just didn’t know. Porn deepens the belief that hip-hop is all that there is. So we just play it over and over so that hearing it still interests us yet we are actually missing the boat.

But you see;

The sexiest part of us isn’t our physicality. A truly sensual person has a presence about them that is absolutely captivating and enthralling. They can look at you and gently touch you in a way that will leave you mesmerized. They will bring you into their inner quiet where you will breathe and touch each other sending chills and orgasms throughout your bodies. What their body looks like is quite irrelevant.

Pleasuring Is Greater When It Is Mutual. We are energetic beings as well as physical. When we are touching our partner, if we are really present and enjoying the feel of our partner’s skin, they will sense this. Your touch will be different than if you are just doing it in order to please them. When you are truly in the moment, there is an electricity that comes out your fingers (or other sexy parts) that permeates your partner’s entire body. As your partner’s body responds to this, this pleasure cycles back to you, and the giver and the receiver roles start to become blurred. There is just simply pleasure being shared regardless of who is doing what.

Connection Is Everything. We are designed to connect with each other on a very deep level. Human beings do not do well without feeling deep connection. We call it “neediness” and “being desperate” when someone is feeling disconnected. But it’s really just because deep down we know that we are capable of phenomenal connection. And when we feel this amazing connection, things in our lives just get better. Depression lifts. We don’t feel as anxious. We notice the joys in life. We appreciate each other. We feel a level of content and happiness that we just don’t experience when we are all alone.

Again, sadly,  porn won’t go away, that’s for sure!

However for many, the addiction can fade, because once you experience the pleasure that ‘porn doesn’t give’, your true potential, true intimacy and the sexual experiences that we are designed to have, then porn can’t own you. It just doesn’t come close to comparing to the experiences you’ve had.

I mean, once you’ve driven a Lamborghini, driving a child’s toy car just doesn’t compare.

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