Why Most Men Can Never Get Bored Of Wanking

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I was having a group conversation on WhatsApp with some former classmates from an all girls’ high school and the topic of masturbation somehow popped up. This one particular lady intimated us how she had failed to understand why her boyfriend still plays with his ‘soldier’ even when he has her to satisfy his urges. She just couldn’t get it. So, I attempted to share with her and the rest, basing on what I have heard my boyfriends (most exes now) tell me about the issue of masturbating.

Men love ‘self juicing’. It is no secret. You would think there are ‘a few’ that probably don’t touch themselves, those who have never even bothered, but I have heard (from men); over and over, that that’s a lie. All men masturbate – at least they have all engaged in this sweet pleasure at one point in their lives. Nevertheless, whether you agree or not, for those who have been doing it- especially right from childhood, they seem to not get enough. Ever!

How would I know; research. Following that WhatsApp chat, I interacted with my other friends, who are literally serial wankers; a few other male strangers and there were some common reasons they all revealed. If you think about it, it actually makes sense. 

They don’t have to worry about sexual performance. No foreplay. All they need is a hand and their soldier. To spice things up (which is optional), they could use: some porn or creative imagination, lotion, tissue, some privacy and … the show is on! A minute, 20 seconds … job thoroughly done! No cuddling or hours of talking afterwards, and he won’t be judged for falling asleep straight after, his hand doesn’t want a cuddle.

It’s the safest form of ‘sex’. If he badly needs sexual healing, but there’s no defined goddess to satisfy that craving at that particular moment; there’s no need to storm the streets mounting whoever he comes across (especially in this exasperating era of STIs and STDs).

Best cure for a dry spell. For a guy who has not had ‘some’ in forever, this includes long dark nights of over 8 hours, self juicing is the medicine. It can be taken while showering in the morning, it can be breakfast … people have different choices and preferences.

It is one of the best ways to release stress. Where some people have football, computer games gym, beer as stress relievers, most men have masturbation.

Kills boredom; masturbation is not a reflection on a relationship; it’s just something men do. It’s a hobby that almost every man is addicted to and no man will get bored of.

Satisfaction; if he didn’t arrive at the final destination during your trip to cloud 9, don’t feel bad if he continues the journey by himself. Unless of course you’d rather he brings in another ‘shawty’ to take him to the finish line.

It’s much easier to be spontaneous and adventurous. He only needs to convince one person (himself) to have a threesome or join the mile high club. How cool is that?

Maybe he is horny most of the time and you are not available all these times, maybe he wants to go solo once in a while, maybe it’s not even about you.  Perhaps it’s simply because it’s convenient and he enjoys it! Think about it.

The best part of my research was when I asked this one guy why men masturbate over and over and he went:

  • Because we can.
  • Because we don’t have to talk to our hand.
  • Because we don’t have to cuddle with our hand.
  • Because we don’t have to tell our hand what we’re thinking every 2 seconds.
  • Because our hand will give it to us when we want it.
  • Because our hand will go as fast or as slow as we like.
  • Because our hand doesn’t say, “I don’t like to do that. That’s disgusting.”

… and I remember thinking; ladies, be like the hand.

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